Did this year’s holiday season with family match your definition of “happy?” If not, you’re probably not alone. In fact, the divorce rate spikes at the beginning of every year. Family law attorneys around the country report that rates of filing are nearly one-third higher beginning in January and continuing through March.
Indeed the New Year has many people seeking a change in their life, and that change could come in a resolution to end your marriage. We are told so much during the holidays to be thankful for what we have and do good onto others, but 2017 may be the time to focus on yourself and your life after marriage.
What’s your resolution?
Studies show that one in two adults make a New Year’s resolutions, but only half keep it. That means one-fourth of Americans are making a significant change in their life at any given time. Because half of all marriages today ending in divorce, it’s easy to see why some people might choose to file after the New Year.
But with half of all New Year’s resolutions failing, it is possible that this is not the first time divorce has crossed your mind. We try to shut out such dark thoughts, and we want to give those we love a second chance, but if marital dissatisfaction weighs on you again, it might be time to consider a change.
Have you given enough?
Sometimes we fall victim to a gambler’s fallacy – this time it will be different, but it’s not. Another year goes by unhappily. Like many people after the New Year, we find ourselves on a treadmill, working off the burdens we pick up again by year’s end.
It is true that every couple will have issues throughout a marriage. We should make an effort to renew our vows, but that reality also brings with it the duty to know when a marriage is irretrievably broken.
Can you achieve your goals?
During the holidays, we are told to give back and practice goodwill toward each other, but the philosophy of rational egoism takes that belief a step further. Sometimes the question is not “Should I or should I not work through my marital issues?” but “Do I or do I not have a right to exist without my marital problems?”
That is to say: instead of basing your marriage on working through your issues as a couple, base your marriage on the matter of what is best for you and your spouse as individuals. If your partnership with your spouse is not what is in the best interest of your goals in life, then divorce may be a resolution worth pursuing in 2017.
The holidays provided you a chance to give back. Now the New Year is an opportunity to pursue self-worth once again.